I like to make lists. I make short term lists and long term list. I make lists for the day, the week, the month, and the year. I make lists for things I need to buy, people I need to talk to, and most importantly, I make lists for tasks I need to do.
“Gosh Ann, you are so organized and decisive!” you may gush. While I’d love to agree with you, that sentiment is far from the truth. The truth is that my lists depress the hell out of me and impede my effectiveness and productivity.
At the end of the day, my daily tasks list have way more things still on the list than things that are crossed out. This either means I am a lazy, ineffective shithead, or that I am unrealistic on what I can do during the span of a day.
While I’m fully aware that my tasks lists are pretty unrealistic, I do try cut them down. But I inevitably end up adding more things to the list, because I always feel like I can do more, especially when many things are crossed out. Yes, I am also fully aware that I might have some demented psychological problem.
Also, being alone and staring at a computer all day does not lend itself to optimism. So here I am kicking myself in the ass. The rationale then follows along the lines of “man, I suck at this” to “why do I even bother?” Once I get to that point, I abandon all hope of getting work done and just play video games all day.
Not so organized and decisive then.
But now, to feel better about myself, I’m simply going to lower my standards. And I’m going to stick to it dammit! I’ll just do one, single, most important and effective task each day and that’s it. If I do more that’s not on the list, then fine. But that one thing needs to be done and I am OK with it. I really can’t fight myself otherwise.
Things are much happier this way.